Randomness For my Crazies
by Fear the Fuzzy Bear
Summary: I have a lot of ideas. Most of them are random. Inspired by Candy Phantom's 'Random Junk My Brain Thinks Up with Danny Phantom People and My OCs' Rated T for villain torture. Also forgot to mention total crackiness.
1. Chapter 1: Dan's got Hiccups

**Hi! This is my first fanfic, so please don't shoot me! Or burn me. Or stab me. Or... You get the idea. Anywhozen, shout out to Candy Phantom for telling me to write a story for my crazies! This is an outlet for me. So, first chapter will be...**

 ***drum roll***

 **CURING HICCUPS!**

 ***canned applesauce***

 **My first victim: Dan Phantom!**

 ***more applesauce***

 **Disclaimer: Do I have to?**

 **Audience: YES!**

 **Fine. I do not own anything at all. EXCEPT THE WORLD! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

 **And now, without further ado, LET THE VILLAIN TORTURE COMMENCE!**

Dan was eating his evil-meanie-flavored ice cream when, suddenly,*hic* "NOOOOOOOOOO!" Dan cried,"I have the hiccups!" "Did someone say hiccups?" Blue peeked at Dan. "You're screwed. Blue loves to cure hiccups." Jake sympathized. He shook his head, and left. Blue was bouncing up and down."Let's start with drinking water upside down!" Blue exclaimed, already filling a cup with water. Dan shivered. His head _was_ on fire, after all.

Blue finished filling the cup, set it down, skipped over to Dan, and flipped him upside-down by his ankles. "Sizzzy, I need you to hold Dan upside-down for me while I make him drink the water." "Okay, Blue. Do you want me to try to shake the hiccups out of him?" asked Sizzzy. "Yeah, Just stop when it's time for his water." Dan whimpered,"P-p-pleas-s-se, Clock-k-k-wor-k-k,*hic* wh-wh-at have I d-d-one to deserv-v-e thi-s-s-s?" "Okay, Sizz, you can stop shaking him. He needs to drink."

Blue said in her best doctor voice, then, when he stopped shaking, she threw the water in his face. With the cup."OW! *hic*" Dan howled. "Hmm... That didn't work. Next!" called Blue to Sizzzy, who was looking up hiccup cures on the internet. "OOOHHH! Here's a good one! 'Stick out your tongue as far as it will go and pull it.' Let's try it!" With that, Blue snapped on surgical gloves that went up to her elbows. "Open wide!" she said. "N-*hic*-NO!" Dan cried, but he opened his mouth so wide with that one word, that Blue reached in, grabbed his tongue, said,"That'll do." and pulled. "AGH!*hic*" Dan whimpered.

Blue looked disappointed. "That didn't work either. NEXT!" "Make him eat peanut butter or scare him!" called Sizzzy. "NO! Not peanut butter!" exclaimed Dan, shivering at the thought of peanut butter sticking to the roof of his mouth. "Awww... Does a widdle Dan-dan have arachibutyrophobia?" asked Sizzzy. Blue and Dan looked at her. "What? I was curious." Sizzzy said, "Anywhozen, do you?" Dan nodded wordlessly. "Sweet! Two cures with one jar!" Blue said. Then, she pulled out a jar of peanut butter-the extra-sticky kind- from the middle of nowhere, opened it, and shoved the whole thing into Dan's mouth, which emitted a girlish shriek, which was muffled by another hiccup. "STOP! *hic* STOP THIS! *hic* HELP! SOME-*hic*-BODY HELP!"

Dan was now scarred for afterlife. But then, silence. Blue was gone, Sizzzy was gone and best of all, not even a hiccup pierced the silence. "I'M FREE! NO MORE HICCUPS!" after that joyful declaration, Dan promptly pulled out his thermos and sucked himself into it. Blue came in, holding sugar. "Dan? I have your next cure!" Blue yelled, looking around for her 'patient'. Seeing the thermos on the ground, she came to a realize that he must have gone back to prison. "What a shame. He hadn't even paid his bill."

 **So, how was it? I will accept random ideas from people who want to see their ideas in writing but are too lazy to write a story themselves. I was, but I had too much random! Candy Phantom told me to write my own story, so here it is! Luv U, Candy!**

 **Fear my Fuzz,**

 **Bear out.**


	2. Chapter 2: Fairies and name confusion

**Hi! I'm back! Shout outs for everyone! Especially S. Whisper for favoriting** **me, FallingNarwhals for first follow, and Candy Phantom for first review! *hands awards***

 **Now Presenting...**

 ***drum roll***

 **FAIRIES AND NAME CONFUSION!**

 ***canned applesauce***

 **Starring...**

 **VLAD PLASMIUS!**

 ***more applesauce***

 **It's not as funny as I want it to be, but whatever.**

 **Disclaimer:**

 **Do I have to?**

 **Audience: YES!**

 **Fine. Nothing do I own. At all.**

 **LET THE PLAYTIME BEGIN!**

Vlad was sitting at his desk, plotting his next intricate evil scheme, when suddenly, he heard a tiny "AARRGGHH!" Vlad whipped around, looking for the source of the sound. He found it by his window, a small figure, about as six inches tall, wearing a large (for her size) red coat and a pair of blue jeans. What fixed his attention, however, was not her unusual size, but the pair of wings on her back. The wings were an iridescent pinky-purple, and fluttered weakly. She was studying a map, holding it upside-down, this way and that, even shaking it, trying to make sense of it. Vlad, being the kind-hearted man that he pretended to be, went straight over to the little figure and said, "Who are you and what are you doing here?"

This seemed to startle the little person. She jumped in surprise and looked up. "Who am _I_? What about _you_? As for what I'm doing here-" she sneezed, "-I'm lost because this stupid map makes no sense at all!" _She sure got over her surprise quickly,_ Vlad thought, but what he said was, "I am Vlad Masters. You are in my mansion in Amity Park, Illinois." "Oh, is that where I am!" She exclaimed, "I'm ahead of schedule. Can I stay here and rest up? I'm kind of tired." Sure, why not? Weirder things had stayed in his home. His vultures, for instance. "Yes, you may." he said. "Thanks!" she said. She flew over to the sofa and settled herself on one of the cushions. "Can you get me some soup? Tea, maybe?" She asked. "Certainly," said Vlad, then he paused,"I never got your name. What is it?" "Oh, silly me. I have this wonderful place to stay and I never introduced myself? Where are my manners? My name is Telyea Later."

"Why?" Vlad asked, confused. "Why what? I told you my name." Telyea said. "No, you said you would tell me later?" Vlad was very confused now. "Let's try again. My name is Telyea Later. What's your name?" Vlad looked thoughtful. "I think I get it now." he stated after a moment of thought. Telyea looked confused,"You mean you didn't before?" "No," he sighed, "I didn't." Suddenly, Telyea sat bolt upright, "What time is it?" she asked, trembling. "About ten-thirty, why?" "Oh my gods! I'm late! Thank you Mr. Masters! It's been great!" She flew out of the window.

Vlad sat back down to his desk, as if nothing had ever happened.

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

 **Well, that was weird.**

 **Telyea: Tell me about it.**

 **I got Telyea's name from the 'Who's on first' skit by Abbot and Costello.**

 **Gladly accepting random ideas! I may have a random generator, but it runs on music.**

 **Luv U all! I'd love to hear your input!**

 **Fear my Fuzz,**

 **Bear out**


	3. Chapter 3 Spinach

**Hiya, peeps! Didja miss me? Shout out to heather1117 for following!**

 **Now presenting,**

 ***drum roll***

 **SPINACH!**

 ***canned applesauce***

 **Starring...**

 **Wait for it...**

 **THE LUNCH LADY AND DAN PHANTOM!**

 ***more applesauce***

 **I just think that she would be so perfect for this part.**

 **Disclaimer: I am Fear the Fuzzy Bear! Not Butch Hartman! HOW WOULD I BE BUTCH HARTMAN?!**

 **ON TO THE SPINACH!**

Dan was waiting for the Lunch Lady to bring him his lunch. He could hear her yelling at the pans for burning something, then hugging them and crying over the good times they had. _That's what I get for hiring a ghost with mood swings more intense than Boxy's love for bubble wrap._ Dan thought. "Oh, so many good times. You remember when I accused you for burning my casserole? Wait... that was five minutes ago! HOW DARE YOU?!" Dan tuned her out within a few moments of that nonsense.

 **I am a line break! My name is Fred!**

"Here you are, Dearie." Lunch Lady said, handing Dan a covered plate. "Why is this covered?" he asked suspiciously. After the hiccup incident *shudder*, Dan was understandably wary of the food he ate. "It's a surprise, honey. If you finish all your lunch, you get a special dessert!"

"So long as it's not ice cream, I think I'll live." Dan muttered. He uncovered the dish and promptly turned green. Well, greener than he already was. Greener than what was on his plate, too. "THE HORROR! THE HORROR! HOW CAN YOU STAND TO WORK WITH SOMETHING LIKE THIS?!" Dan screamed, for on his plate was *gasp* _spinach._ "It'll make you grow up big and strong!" said Lunch Lady, in a motherly tone. "I'm a grown ghost! Why do I have to eat this garbage?" Dan whined. "IT'S NOT GARBAGE!" she cried, losing her temper, "IT IS YOUR LUNCH! LUNCH IS SACRED! YOU MUST ALWAYS EAT LUNCH!"

Dan shrank back, and shakily reached out and poked the spinach, like it was going to jump up and bite him or something. "Well?" asked Lunch Lady, "Taste it!" Dan gingerly picked up a tiny piece, placed it on his tongue, which was still sore (And numb (Thanks, Blue)), and gagged. He grimaced, but tried to turn it into a smile directed towards the Lunch Lady. He gave her a weak thumbs-up.

"Yum," he said, trying to appease her. "That's nice, Dearie. Now EAT YOUR SPINACH! Don't you want to be strong like Popeye?" she asked. Dan rolled his eyes. He had used the Infi-map to go to Popeye's universe, challenged the guy to an arm wrestle, let the guy spinach up, and Dan had _still_ won. Aloud, he said, "Yes, Lunch Lady." and stuffed the whole disgusting pile of green glop into his mouth. It took all of his willpower to not throw it all up. His tongue might have been numb, but it still smelled and felt disgusting. Lunch Lady smiled and went to get the 'special dessert'.

As soon as she was out of the room, Dan threw up. "Bleck!" he said, wiping his mouth out frantically with a napkin, "I hate spinach." "What was that, Sweetie?" asked Lunch Lady, who had just walked into the room. "NOTHING nothing." he said, trying to be casual. "Well, alright honey, if you say so. Here's your dessert!" she said, unveiling the unmistakable color and cone of...

 _Flashback_

 _*hic* "NOOOOOOOO!"_

 _Flashback end._

 **Story end.**

 **If you're wondering why I referred to Lunch Lady by her full name, so am I.**

 **Did you like it? If you didn't, who cares? I don't. I'm just writing this for fun.**

 **By the way, I have nothing against spinach, I actually like it.**

 **If there is anyone else who shares Dan's opinion though, let me know!**

 **Luv you all!**

 **Fear my Fuzz,**

 **Bear out.**


	4. Chapter 4: Vlad 'n Dan go crazy preview

**Heyo! I'm not dead! I have no life, but I'm not dead.**

 **Whoever thought I was crazy for liking spinach last chapter, raise your hand.**

 **Audience: *All hands raise***

 **Me: YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!**

 **TO THE INTRO!**

 **Now presenting,**

 **(drum roll)**

 **I HAVE NO CLUE!**

 **(questioning mutters from the audience)**

 **Starring...**

 **(half-hearted drum roll)**

 **VLAD PLASMIUS!**

 **Audience: Yay?**

 **It's his turn, after all.**

 **Disclaimer: I AM BUTCH HAARTMAN!**

 **Me: *pushes Haartman over***

 **Haartman: GYAAAHH!**

 **Me: That was Butch Haartman, a clone of Butch Hartman. He doesn't own anything the real Butch does, and neither do I.**

 **Umm... LET'S GO?**

Vlad hadn't moved from his desk ever since Telyea left. He was still sitting there. Suddenly, he heard a scream. "NOOOOOOOOOO!"

It sounded like a scream of pure annoyance.

Vlad wondered if he should go check it out, when he heard another noise. This time though, it sounded something like, "P-po-lic-e, c-l-lock-k wor-rk-k," Then there was a sound like someone choking,"Wh-wh-at-t ha-have I d-done t-to deserv-v-ve th-th-i-is-s?" There was some incoherent mumbling, then a profound, "OW!" There was that choking sound again. Hiccups, maybe? Vlad focused on the sounds. This might be interesting. Vlad called for popcorn. More mumbling, then someone called, "Next!"

It sounded like a girl. Another girl, sounding excited, jabbered something to the first girl, followed by the sound of snapping surgical gloves. Vlad winced so bad his hand full of popcorn missed his mouth and landed on his cheek. This would be good. He knew it was sick and twisted, taking pleasure in another's pain, but hey, he wasn't the one getting hurt. He was not disappointed. "N-*hic*-NO!" the mysterious someone shouted, then a pained,"AGH!*hic,*" Vlad felt sorry for the man, thought about calling the police, and decided against it. This was too much fun!

"NEXT!" called the first girl. Another moment of garbled language, then the man said something like, "NO! Not peanuts and butter!" Peanut butter, perhaps? More mumbles, then a girlish shriek. It was muffled, but it was definitely coming from the guy. "STOP!*hic* STOP THIS!*hic* HELP!*hic* SOME-*hic*-BODY HELP!"

Then, silence. "I'M FREE! NO MORE HICCUPS!" rang out joyously, then the unmistakable sound of the dreaded Fenton Thermos being activated a sucked in a ghost.

Vlad tuned out. He had a lot to think about.

 **Well, that was short.**

 **This is a preview of a story I'm gonna do.**

 **FallingNarwhals suggested it.** **Candy Phantom challenged me the format.**

 **Here is the idea.**

 **Vlad and Dan will meet and drive each other insane.**

 **It will be fun!**

 **I am Magical.**

 **Who are you?**

 **Control+C above**

 **Okay?**

 **Yes.**

 **Umm...**

 **Review?**

 **Fear my Fuzz,**

 **A very Confused Bear out.**


	5. Chapter 5: Dan's nightmare

**Hey all! I have nothing to say here, but thanks to Unicorns Eat Llamas for following and reminding me that I had to update here, too!**

 **No drum roll this time, folks. I have absolutely no idea what to do with this chapter, so I'm just gonna wing it. Again...**

 **Disclaimer: HATBOXES! BEWARE! Ummm... I own nothing?**

 **Here is the chapter you've all been waiting for!**

Dan was already mentally scarred, so why not add to the pain? As of now, he was restrained with ecto-proof restraints on a medical table and surrounded by cats. Giant, human-sized cats. to make matters worse, they were _pink_. Pink, fluffy cats holding him down to a cold steel table. Pure terror coursed through his veins. At least they could have left him his voice, but nooooo, they couldn't. A piece of extra-sticky super-muffling Kidnapper Brand duct tape was secured over his mouth, and his fangs had been filed down so he couldn't pierce the tape with them.

The pink nightmare cats *shudder* came closer. Dan struggled fruitlessly. One of the fluffy demons picked up dentistry tools. Another one got a giant needle from the place all your socks disappear to from the dryer. Which is to say, who-knows-where. The creature with the dental tools phased his fuzzy paw through the duct tape. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Then he woke up.

 **The end.**

 **Dan: You hate me, don't you?**

 **Me: Yup.**

 **Luv U all!**

 **Fear my Fuzz,**

 **Bear out**


	6. Chapter 6: PUDDLES!

**Helloooooooo... Random thought, this seems to be updated either on a whim or whenever someones follows or faves...**

 **Speaking of which, thanks to MagicalKeys for favoriting and following! That makes four follows and two faves! THAT'S SO MANY!**

 **Puddle jumping, anyone?**

 **Vlad: MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEEEE!**

 **Me: OKAY!**

 **Disclaimer: Marshmallow, Carve, Pie, Bone, Waste, Bazooka, Imaginary, Ducks, Rainbows. I own none of these words, so what makes you think I would own Danny Phantom?**

 ***Commercial Break!***

Vlad was sitting in his lab for absolutely no reason at all. Simply put, he was bored. The secret project he had been working on had been finished, his taxes had been paid and it was raining outside. There was nothing to do!

Wait...

It's... Raining...

"YAHOO!" Vlad's joyful cry echoed through the empty halls of his castle. It was raining outside! He changed into his ghost form, an uncharacteristic expression of pure delight showing on his face. "IT'S RAINING OUTSIDE!"

He phased outside to join his beloved rain, and changed back to his human form. His countenance remained unchanged, the giddiness of his inner child shining through. The rain was pouring down in buckets. _All the better,_ thought Vlad _For puddles!_

He went down to the place where he knew there were the most puddles. The back of his castle. No one ever went there, it was the perfect place.

He took a running jump, and landed. SPLASH! Muddy water flew everywhere. It ruined his suit, but he didn't care. The joyful feeling he got from puddle jumping was impossible to experience anywhere else.

He ran at another puddle. "Cannonball!" He shouted, spraying mud and brown water all over.

As Vlad continued with his puddle jumping, a wet fourteen-year-old boy with a yellow shirt, red beret and green cargo pants clutched his PDA lovingly, stroking it's sleek outer case and staring at the screen with disbelief, for the screen showed the pictures he had taken of Amity Park's mayor, romping around in the puddles like a five-year-old.

"Gotcha."

 **And done!**

 **I just thought Vlad was always so uptight, why not make him smile? You like the blackmail touch? I think that it's just the sort of thing Tucker would do.**

 **Vlad: That was cruel. You finally let me have some fun, and you ruin it!**

 **Me: Yeah, pretty much.**

 **Tucker: I didn't mind.**

 **Vlad: *dripping sarcasm* Of course not.**

 **Please review! I'd love to hear your input! Anyone who does gets canned unicorns and a free puddle!**

 **Fear my Fuzz,**

 **Bear out.**


End file.
